Despicable Tweets

The explanation for my depression.
Updated as often as I can bear.
Follow @DespicableTs on Twitter for more.

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Here’s a submission from openendedsky, wherein a woman not wanting a door held open somehow enrages a man.

Yup, I’m pretty sure this internet you’re using is composed strictly of basic arithmetic.

Yup, I’m pretty sure this internet you’re using is composed strictly of basic arithmetic.

ballershots asked: The real worst part of those people tweeting "happy James Earl Ray day"? They look... normal. They're not wearing klansmen hoods. They're not old (and perhaps more likely to be racist). They look like friends I'd have, or people I'd see on any college campus. These are young people who are casually racist. And that is really, truly scary.

This is an old response to people’s Martin Luther King, Jr. Day tweets that I keep forgetting to post and that I completely agree with.

Here’s a story from my past. After college, I was dating a nouveau riche girl, and one time we were at the mall, and she went into Louis Vuitton in hopes of conspicuously consuming.  I’m, of course, out of place and just wandering around looking at purses whose price tags could heat a school for the winter, bored and rapidly becoming depressed.
One of the guys working there asks if I need help with anything, and we end up striking up a conversation.  Turns out we went to college in the same area, so we’re talking about that and how we’ve each ended up on the other side of the country.  Maybe five minutes go by, and my girlfriend tells me she’s done, we can go.  I thank the guy for the conversation and we leave.
Once outside, my girlfriend begins berating me for talking to the sales guy. “He just works there,” she tells me, “he’s not there to be talked to.”
Anyway, if the younger version of me had met Jashan, I’d probably’ve been falling over myself to date her.

Here’s a story from my past. After college, I was dating a nouveau riche girl, and one time we were at the mall, and she went into Louis Vuitton in hopes of conspicuously consuming.  I’m, of course, out of place and just wandering around looking at purses whose price tags could heat a school for the winter, bored and rapidly becoming depressed.

One of the guys working there asks if I need help with anything, and we end up striking up a conversation.  Turns out we went to college in the same area, so we’re talking about that and how we’ve each ended up on the other side of the country.  Maybe five minutes go by, and my girlfriend tells me she’s done, we can go.  I thank the guy for the conversation and we leave.

Once outside, my girlfriend begins berating me for talking to the sales guy. “He just works there,” she tells me, “he’s not there to be talked to.”

Anyway, if the younger version of me had met Jashan, I’d probably’ve been falling over myself to date her.

Why would school try to teach me something about being an adult?

Why would school try to teach me something about being an adult?

Zac Skinner’s profile reads: “Im a Chill person looking for some girls to always to talk to so hit me up and if you want to get to know me keep on talking to me”

Zac Skinner’s profile reads: “Im a Chill person looking for some girls to always to talk to so hit me up and if you want to get to know me keep on talking to me”

Anonymous asked: Maybe you were too hard on Tabitha Welsh. By saying "Black people actually make me feel really uncomfortable. #notracist", maybe she meant: "My rational mind believes that racism is wrong, and I don't treat people differently based on race, but I automatically get a feeling of discomfort around black people. I wonder what causes me to have these gut reactions and what they say about me as a person and about about human nature in general. Do we instinctively distrust those who are different?"

Yes, that would be nice.

But your quote omits the “#lol #sorrynotsorry” at the end of her tweet, and those pretty much clinch it for me. Not to mention that if she has a gut reaction of discomfort around a certain group of people, she’s going to treat them differently, much though she might not want to think so.

Anonymous asked: Until that last one, I always assumed that you were a Hispanic woman for some reason. Why did I think that?

Gosh, beats me, but I think that’s pretty cool.  I’m really interested in this sort of point, of the blanks we (usually subconsciously) fill in when we have imperfect information about someone.

I know I have a tendency to assume that whoever I’m reading is the same as me, and will feel a note of surprise when I suddenly read “Growing up in X…” or “As a mom…” or whatever.  But for me, that’s  in part because most of the obvious ways I can be classified tend to be the stereotypes (at least until the last couple decades) of writers, and especially journalists.

How does everyone else fill in the blanks?  Do you assume that other writers are like you until you find out otherwise?  Do you have some other “base writer” that you tend to assume? Or do you do something completely different?

I’ve never liked kids; even when I was a kid, I preferred the company of adults. I don’t know what to talk to them about, I’m not interested in their stories, etc., and as a result, I think I seem uncomfortable around them. Yet when I’m stuck watching kids or playing with them or whatever, people tend to tell me afterward how good I was with them, and how I’d make a great dad. (My worst nightmare.)
So how come so many of the “masculism” guys are unable to perform this task without creeping everyone out? 

I’ve never liked kids; even when I was a kid, I preferred the company of adults. I don’t know what to talk to them about, I’m not interested in their stories, etc., and as a result, I think I seem uncomfortable around them. Yet when I’m stuck watching kids or playing with them or whatever, people tend to tell me afterward how good I was with them, and how I’d make a great dad. (My worst nightmare.)

So how come so many of the “masculism” guys are unable to perform this task without creeping everyone out? 

I’m behind on bringing this up, but John McCain, senator and one-time presidential candidate, made this tweet, implying that the President of Iran is a monkey.  After some agitated feedback, he responded by pointing out that it was a joke.  Well, duh.

The problem isn’t that McCain’s made a joke — although I do think it a bit impolitic for a senior senator to openly belittle a sitting head of state, even if that head of state totally sucks.  The problem is the joke’s content and the history it interacts with.  Hocine Dimerdji explained the point well:

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I don’t personally think that McCain tweeted this maliciously, unlike many of the people who pop up on this blog.  But he illustrates an important point: it is easy to be racist (or any other kind of offensive) without realizing it. And when that happens, it isn’t enough to just say that it wasn’t offensive; if someone finds something offensive, it is, regardless of intent.

(That’s not to say, of course, that something can’t be more offensive when it’s intentional. Nor should everything offensive be rescinded — the offensiveness of a statement must be weighed against its purpose.  My favorite example of this is Joe Welch’s cutting “Have you no sense of decency?" to Joe McCarthy during the Army-McCarthy hearings. Doubtless this is an offensive statement, and yet it is one of the most important in American history.)